Letting Go
by ilovetvalot
Summary: Jennifer Jareau is in pain. Will she let someone help?


"Get up, Jennifer," David Rossi said firmly, staring down at the bent blonde head before him.

Lifting bleary blue eyes to meet his, JJ gripped her glass tighter in her hands. "I'm fine right here, Agent Rossi," she replied, glancing around the bar she was seated in. Rustic would have been a real stretch if she'd been asked to describe the dimly lit establishment. But, it would do in a pinch. And, this definitely qualified as a pinch. They had just finished up a gruesome case in the middle of a nowhere town in southern Georgia. They'd gotten the bad guys - thanks to her. She'd been the bait. The tempting lure that had drawn their unsub out. And, she'd fairly nearly gotten killed for the effort. But close only counted in horseshoes and hand grenades, right? A miss was as good as a mile, she thought as she smiled grimly.

"Jennifer, I'm not going to tell you again," Rossi said in that deeply controlled tone he used on people he needed to intimidate.

Laughing bitterly, she looked up again. "Go. Away."

"I'm not going to do that, Jen," Rossi said tightly.

"Let me put this another way. I'm going to sit here and empty this bottle of tequila. I've earned it," she said hatefully. "You KNOW I've earned it. And, not just because of what happened today, Rossi," she added with narrowed eyes.

"I told Hotch that I didn't think you should be the one to stay behind with me," Rossi muttered.

"Oh, afraid I might fall into your bed again, Agent Rossi. Not likely," JJ bit out.

"That isn't what I meant, damn it! Jen, honey, you're done. Just put down the bottle and come upstairs with me," he softly cajoled. Seeing her cold look, he tried again. "All I meant was that after what you've been through today, giving a press conference tomorrow is the last thing you need to try to do. I begged you not to do this and now, look at you. Drinking won't changed what happened, honey."

Flashing him a look with angry blue eyes, she bit out, "Nothing I choose to do or not do is any of your concern. Not anymore."

"Damn it, Jennifer, I was trying to protect you," Rossi replied, becoming angry.

"Which time, Rossi? Today, when you tried to talk me out of baiting the unsub or when you left my bed in the middle of the night without a word!"

"Both, Goddamn it! Hell, yes, I tried to stop you from being a pawn in that sick game with the unsub. I damn near killed Hotch for allowing you to do it and if I'd been there, instead of thirty miles away, you'd have never been anywhere near him. And, yeah, I was protecting you when I tore myself out of your arms at two o'clock in the morning and left the most beautiful thing I've ever touched laying there a month ago. You deserve better than an old man fighting his own personal demons! Do you think I wanted to risk hurting you?"

"Shouldn't that have been my choice? On both counts!" JJ raged.

"Probably," Rossi ground out. "But I'm not used to this anymore than you are! Damn it, I never expected to fall in lo-," Rossi broke off.

"Do not finish that sentence!" JJ ordered, taking another shot of tequila.

Closing his eyes while he tried desperately to regain control, David ground out, "Jennifer, get up. If you want to drink, fine! But do it upstairs where I can protect you, honey."

"Protect me? I assure you, Agent Rossi, I'm perfectly able to protect myself. Ask our unsub! Oh, wait!" JJ said, pausing dramatically for effect. "You can't! He's dead!"

"Yes, Jennifer, he's dead and you didn't have a choice, baby," Rossi whispered.

"There's always a choice," JJ said softly. "We always have a choice."

"Yes, we do. And your choices were kill or die. Trust me, honey, you made the right one," David said, unable to stop himself from sliding a gentle hand down her long blonde hair.

Flinching from his touch, JJ moved back. "Don't touch me!"

"Jennifer," Rossi whispered, hating the look of pain on her face.

"Do you have any idea how dirty I feel?" JJ said in a raw voice filled with horror.

"Jennifer, please, just come upstairs. I'll even let you bring the tequila, honey. Drink the whole damn thing. Just let me take care of you," David said quietly.

Nodding, JJ moved blindly from the booth. She felt as the man that had been at the center of her dreams for so long she'd forgotten any others wrapped a secure arm around her waist and guided her to the door leading back into the hotel.

Turning to look at him as they entered the elevator, she asked in a voice that could barely be heard, "Tonight, could you please just help me forget, Dave?"

Staring down at those blue eyes that had captivated him from the instant he'd first gazed into them, he whispered, "I'll do whatever you want me to do, Jennifer. I'm tired of fighting it."

"You just feel sorry for me," JJ whispered.

"No, honey, somewhere along the way, I just fell in love with you," he told her steadily.

"You don't run away from someone you love," JJ told him sadly.

"You do when you're convinced that you'll end up damaging perfection," he replied gently.

Interrupted by the opening elevator door, David placed a gentle hand on JJ's back to guide her out. "You're room or mine?" David asked.

"Yours," JJ answered, wondering if she was imagining this. Wondering if this was yet another dream that she'd wake up from - alone and in pain.

Following Rossi into his room, JJ held out her hand. "Okay, you've got me locked in. Now, give me my bottle back," she ordered.

Handing her the bottle, he watched as she took a deep pull off the bottle. "Why are you doing this, Jen?" he asked quietly.

"I need to forget," JJ said, walking to the balcony door to stare out into the dark night.

"Forget what?" she heard him ask from behind her.

"How it felt to have something so evil touch me. Breathe on me," JJ replied, involuntarily shivering against the memories.

"Honey, I'm so sor-," Rossi began.

Cutting him off, she absently said, "I've taken eight showers. Eight. And, no amount of soap and water takes away that dirty feeling. He almost had me. Another few minutes and he would have-,"

"Jennifer, don't, honey," Rossi said, mentally recoiling from the desolation he heard in her voice as he slipped his arms around her from behind. "You made it, honey. He didn't get a chance to- he can't hurt anyone else now. Because of you."

Allowing her head to fall back against his shoulder, she whispered, "Yeah, because of me. I took another life," JJ muttered. "I hope God isn't keeping a scorecard up there."

"You did what you had to do in order to save your life and the lives of countless other women, Jennifer," Rossi whispered against her ear. "He wasn't going to stop. Not ever. More women were going to die. You very nearly died. The son of a bitch deserved to die. God knows that, baby."

"I hope you're right," JJ muttered.

"I'm right, Jennifer," David told her confidently.

Turning in his arms, JJ looked into the eyes of the man who had the power to hurt her deeply - who had hurt her deeply. "You promised to help me forget," she whispered.

"I won't make love to you drunk, Jennifer. I may not have many scruples left but-," he said before she cut him off.

"I'm not drunk. I know exactly what I'm doing," she whispered, staring at him. "But, I have to know, are you going to be here when I wake up this time? Or are you going to run again?"

"I'm done running. If I hadn't been running, maybe you wouldn't have gone through this today. I still think you deserve more…better."

Putting a finger to his lips, she told him softly, "I want you. Just you. Even with all your faults and doubts. But I can't wake up alone again. I need you to either be completely in this or to walk away because my heart can't handle this again."

"I'm in, Jennifer. For however long you allow me to be, I'm in," he replied, losing himself in her blue gaze.

"Does forever work for you, then?" JJ asked, letting the first tear fall.

"Forever works just fine, honey," Dave replied hoarsely, claiming her lips for a kiss filled with passion and promise of a better tomorrow.

~The End~


End file.
